Discoveries
by BallisticsBabe
Summary: Spoiler: Mea Culpa. Grissom discovers changes occuring within Sara and sets out to right the wrongs.


_A/N: The following lyrics are courtesy of Big and Rich's song "Holy Water". Thanks to the master musicians for providing me with such an awesome song for inspiration! Also, thanks to Billy n Jorja for bringing their characters to life!_

_Disclaimer: Now if I owned CBS/CSI do you think I'd be posting here? Nope...sorry guys...I'd be writing GSR shippiness into the scrpits!_

_Somewhere there's a stolen halo  
I use to watch her wear it well  
Everything would shine wherever she would go  
But looking at her now you'd never tell_

Normally, Sara had a relaxed and concentrated expression on her face, but at the moment Gil Grissom could see the creases in her forehead as if something was troubling her. The usual glow that she carried had seemed to dissipate in the last few months, and tonight it seemed completely extinguished.

Perhaps it was Sofia's rambling on the other side of the room that was causing her to look so unfocused. However, Grissom rarely saw anything at a crime scene distract her. He stepped closer to her and leaned down next to her as they examined the body together. "Something wrong?" Gil questioned.

"Nope, everything's in order...through and through...close range it looks like. Maybe a .44 caliber?" she looked up at Grissom, seeking his expertise. He just shrugged...never one to make assumptions. He saw Sara frown farther and rise. "Sofia...?"

"Yes, Sara?" the petite blonde replied as she bagged what appeared to be a broken shard of glass. She looked up and the two females eyes met. Sara's chocolate brown ones peered into Sofia's and Grissom was silently wondering if they were capable of telepathic communication. Sofia shook her head and Sara gave a small nod and excused herself upstairs, taking the steps two at a time.

Gil thought for a moment before posing his question, "Did I miss something?"

"Mmm...Just telling Sara that I didn't find a shell." Sofia replied as she cut a square of bloodstained carpet from the floor and bagged it.

"Funny," he began. "I didn't even hear a question asked."

"Not everything is communicated through words, Grissom. Lips can tell you a lot, but the eyes and the body language say so much more." She gave him a small smile as she too exited the room and moved to the kitchen.

_Maybe I am losing my ability to lead..._

_/Someone ran away with her innocence  
A memory she can't get out of her head  
I can only imagine what she's feeling  
When she's praying  
Kneeling at the edge of her bed/_

For a moment Grissom wondered what she was doing. Praying? Crying? She sat on her knees at the edge of the bed, her head bowed. Upon closer inspection, he noticed that she was really pulling a banana yellow fiber from the forest green comforter, her head bent to get a closer look. He mentally chided himself for those thoughts. Crying, honestly, Sara? Maybe at home but she was certainly never one to let work and personal matters clash. Still, Sara crying at all was not an idea Gil Grissom had ever become friends with...and he certainly never wanted to.

"I found a fiber. It's very yellow," she must have heard him enter the room. Had his heart been beating the loudly? He knew that when he got near her his pulse started to rise...but surely not THAT badly.

"I'll check the closet," Grissom replied. He pulled off his latex gloves, stowed them in a Ziploc for later disposal and pulled on a new pair. Yes, some would call this Obsessive Compulsive, but it helped to keep from cross-contaminating evidence. He threw open the closet doors and slowly thumbed through the hanging garments. Finding nothing that was even close to the sample, he began to rifle through the dresser drawers. He searched to no avail, finding not even a single yellow sock!

"I'm headed to the lab. Gonna get this sample to trace. Can you an Sofia handle it?" Sara asked, looking him in the eye.

_"Not everything is communicated through words, Grissom. Lips can tell you a lot, but the eyes and the body language say so much more." _

Grissom's striking blue eyes stared into hers and he saw the accusations and the hurt. What she was accusing him of, that he couldn't tell. Nor could he tell what it was she'd been hurt by. The only thing he knew was that he wanted-- needed to find out. He had to fix it.

Without so much as a goodbye Sara gathered her kit and headed down stairs, leaving him to process the room alone.

_/She wants someone to call her angel  
Someone to put the light back in her eyes  
She's looking through the faces  
The unfamiliar places  
She needs someone to hear her when she cries/_

"Yep...just dropped it off and tore out of here," Hodges replied. Sofia was a tad miffed at Sara's sudden departure. She wasn't the type of person to just run out in the middle of shift. She smiled a not-so-friendly smile at Hodges and strolled out of trace...

...and ran smack into her current supervisor.

"Got anything?" he asked.

"A semi-identified fiber. 100 polyester." Sofia informed him. "Find anything upstairs?"

"Yea. Mr. Evans was a bachelor, correct?" Grissom question rhetorically. "I found **two**..._count 'em _**two** toothbrushes in his medicine cabinet." He held up the baggy, just incase Sofia was a visual learner.

"Hey, what's the deal with Sidle?"

Grissom frowned, thrown for a loop. "The deal?"  
"Hodges said she gave him the fiber and then took off like a bat out of hell. Any ideas?" Sofia asked. She could read Grissom and his transcript said that he had a spot for the young C.S.I. Aside from the face that he was their supervisor, she could tell he was concerned on a personal level as well .

Grissom just shrugged and pulled his keys from his pocket. Turning on his heel, he walked briskly towards the parking lot. Sofia didn't have to ask...she knew what rabbit he was going to chase.

Grissom was halfway to her apartment when the company Tahoe, bearing the letters C.S.I. caught his eye in the parking lot of a gray church. There was only one person that could be driving that SUV. As uncomfortable with the church as he was, Grissom swung into the parking lot and planted his car in the space next to hers. Being that it was 2:30 in the morning, Grissom didn't expect the doors to be unlocked. However, as he pressed the handle down with his thumb he felt the latch release and he swung the door open towards himself. The church was small and dark, with only one over-head lamp and a few candles to light his path to the brown head that sat kneeling at a pew in the front of the church. Although he already knew that it was Sara, Grissom let in a sharp intake of breath as he saw her shoulders shaking...her sobs quietly echoing off of the walls.

/She just needs a little help  
To wash away the pain she's felt  
She wants to feel the healing hands  
Of someone who understands/

Sara felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked up, startled. After all, who in their right mind would be in a church at two in the morning? Apparently, she and Gil Grissom would. He leaned down next to her and began stroking small circled on her shoulder. "Sara, honey, what's wrong?"

_S_ara sobbed again and looked at him, tears curving down her smooth cheeks forming roadways. Grissom blocked them off with his thumb and took his hand in hers. "I want to help. Please tell me what's wrong…"

Sara leaned back and rested herself against the bench. "You, Gil. You're what's wrong."

Gil looked down and frowned. He wasn't sure how he'd done it but he'd caused her so much pain. "What did I do? Tell me how to fix it, Sara. I hate to see you cry."

"I love you, Gil. God knows I've loved you for a long time now. Try as I might, I can never forget that I love you. It hurts for me to come in every day and see you…and everyone else get a long so well. You and Jim and Catherine and now…Sofia… Despite the fact that I love you Grissom, you've made me hate me. You've made me hate myself for being so weak and vulnerable and I can't stand it anymore. I want to leave, I want to get out of here and head to another Crime lab."

Grissom's mouth opened in protest. He closed it again as Sara silenced him with a finger to his lips. His heart rate sped up as he realized that a part of Sara's body was touching his lips. It amazed him that she could do this to him and he wondered why he'd never tried to explore it before. With all the courage he could muster, Grissom took her hand in his and kissed her fingers, starting at the tip of her index and working his way across the other four. If he was standing outside himself and watching this, he'd be disconcerted by the fact that he was here displaying his affection for her in front of the two things he was most afraid of: Sara Sidle and The Powers That Be, whoever he/she may be.

However he wasn't standing outside of himself. Grissom was feeling her skin under his lips, trying to tell her that she couldn't leave. It would destroy him. "Please don't, Sara. Please don't leave. Everyone needs you…_I_ need you."

There, he'd finally admitted it. Sara rose and pulled Grissom up with her. She pulled his body to hers and rested her head on his shoulder.

Grissom hugged her close and then wrapped his arm around her shoulder as he led her to his vehicle. They'd get her Tahoe tomorrow.

"Take me home, Grissom."

_/And she says take me away  
And take me farther  
Surround me now  
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water  
Holy water/  
_


End file.
